We meet again Sir N. Kaibab. Today is the rematch. When last we met, I think we can both agree that you won soundly and definitively. But 40 years ago today, at 9 pm, my mother graciously brought me into the world (Thanks Mom!) and I’m filled with renewed vigor to teach you some manners. It’s true I’m 13 years older and have 10, okay 30 extra pounds, but’s 30 lbs of experience more than last time I endeavored to walk your sandy, winding, mule-dung covered trails. A few years ago, some hero of mine invented a device called a “Camelback.” You see you will no longer be able to drain my energy from dehydration. I’ve hiked Half Dome three times since you defeated me lo those many years ago, That’s right, Punk, three times. I know what you’re thinking, “Is she gonna cap my ass or isn’t she.” But I think you need to be asking yourself, do you feel lucky?

Well, do ya, Punk?